In the Red corner, fighting for Nostalgia we’ve got the king of knock-outs, the game-pak pugilist, the undefeated champion of 8-bit boxing; ‘Puuuuuuunch Ouuuuuuuut’. And in the blue corner, fighting for truth among the falsehoods of nostalgic memory, it’s Steeeeejaaaaay Wiiiiiild. Witness his attempt to settle the score and see if Punch Out on the NES will beat the hype or come out flawed.
As a kid I don’t remember even being aware of Punch Out. I was never much of a sports person anyway and was so clearly disinterested in this title that it slipped through the chicken wire of my memory and made off into the wilds of inconsideration. If anything, I played video games to help distract from my terrible performance on the track and field and I didn’t need a seven-foot Mr. Hippo to beat the obvious into me. The closest I got to a virtual arena was Speedball 2 on my cousins Atari ST, and that’s only because it was a futuristic cyberpunk blood-sport. So, it’s no surprise that when it came to Punch Out, I missed it. But here we are, it’s the future ladies and gentlemen, and believe it or not people are still talking about this game. So bring it on.
“I want a good clean fight.” That’s what they always say right? But no fight is clean, and Punch Out trains you to place your faith in an ‘expectation of unfairness’ in life. By pitting the playable character, Little Mac, against opponents who must be at least three-foot taller than him, Punch Out quickly establishes that often, during your feeble time on Earth, you’ll confront dangers and obstacles that seem far bigger than anything you can handle. Yet, with patience, observation and opportunistic upper-cutting, you can lay any challenge flat on the mat and stamp your boot on it’s bludgeoned carcass.
And that is, effectively, Punch Out. The mechanics are fairly simple, there’s a button for basic jabs, upper-cuts, a dodge and block manoeuvre and the only other thing required is your brain and some timing skills. Each opponent has their move-set and rhythm, and a flash, sound or animation that indicates when a move, and what move, is coming. It’s up to the player to learn these patterns, and learn the counters to them in order to beat the opponent and move on. The premise is really simple, and to be fair, it’s simple enough that it can be picked up quickly while still providing sufficient complexity to keep you busy until you’re out for the count.
Or does it?
Well, that depends how deep you want it to go, but for now let’s stay shallow and talk about its looks. It’s not being cruel to say a game like Punch Out was never gonna win any ‘world’s prettiest’ competitions. It carries a Saturday afternoon, boxing in the 80’s, old men drinking in smoky pubs kind of vibe. The character designs are reminiscent of the kind of thing you might see in an old Beano or Dandy comic, but all this serves to establish an atmosphere of light-hearted foolishness. Which is refreshing, it would have been easy to pander to the teenage lads with puffed up images of hyper-masculine, angry characters. But Little Mac facing off against these cartoonishly large opponents is not meant to be taken seriously, the absurdity apparent in the designs of each opponent carry a caricature of ‘manliness’ and tough guy boxing types and empowers the player to overcome these things with considered skill, born of brains not braun.
Quite a lesson for a boxing game in the 80’s right? Yeah, maybe I’ve given it a little too much credit there, but regardless, the animations of the characters are simple and effective in conveying some sense of personality. From their winning poses, to taunts and even how they dance around the mat, there are many distinct characterisations to make each opponent unique. And each has a very different fighting style and pattern with different weak points.
While they can seem insurmountably tough at first, the moment it ‘clicks’ and you figure out where to place your dodge and how to deliver that counter it can be quite satisfying.
The sound is also worth a mention, the music is fun and bouncy and sits right at home with the cartoonish graphical style. When matches begin the roar of the crowd gives each round an atmosphere and helps the player feel immersed in the ring. Sure it’s no ‘Eye of the Tiger’ but there’s an energy to the music that can rival even the most intense training montage from your favourite boxing flix.
The simple mechanics and light-hearted play give Punch Out an accessibility to anyone wishing to pick up and play. The learning curve is well thought out, and opponents become gradually more difficult to beat in a well-balanced way. There’s a good amount of satisfaction to be had from beating someone, and being beaten can easily leave you feeling like you almost had it, and one more go will be enough to finish them. Yet while the game comes out fighting, it soon tires and has to take a rest in the corner.
Or at least I did.
The rounds become quickly repetitive, the simple mechanics mean there is little new to do with Little Mac as you progress, rather than player progression, only the enemies change, and as such you’re left using the same skills you had at the start of the game to beat the end. I’m not asking that Little Mac be given a perks tree and XP system to unlock different skills, but ultimately this game feels too shallow and simplistic for lasting appeal or replayability. All in all, the hardest part of this review was finding 1500 words to say about Punch Out. While there was some basic enjoyment to be wrung from the sweat towel around this games neck, it ultimately left me feeling less like jumping in the fray and more like saying ‘Don’t look, just walk away.’
Verdict:
MiSSEDiT 